Hohoho..Gt 7th for the relay run and just good enough for a medal. XL, last runner, was late! We were planning who to run the last round...well it got to be me since i'm the 3rd runner and have quite some time to recover. After I took the baton and ran about half of the route, the only thought that went through me was "S*it sh*t shi*, can i run one more time? I was quite tired and I could not outrun the dragon boater in front of me..." I wonder why I seem to be weaker these days...why? hmm...probably think too much about relationship stuff which i shldn't even bother right? lols. Well after i pass my baton to Martin, walk to the field i saw XL warming up...PHEW i went over and said god bless u came lols. He ran really fast! But wasn't fast enough for him...always room for improvement hoho
After the race...we went to Bukit Timah food centre to eat. There were only (chiong), Wen li, Nigel, Jun Jie and I. The (chiong) is super funny and well very rich. How i know? We went to his house to watch the channel 5, 10pm show as it was showing the PINNACLE RACE! lols.

Saturday, went to Acres to do help em' out with the other Leo members. Seems like Sulaiman is going to be the next President i suppose...judging from the way things go and how Joel(current President) is giving him the opportunity to show his worth. We pulled vines which were destroying the fences and had some educational talk from the staff there. This is to prepare us for an event that is coming up somewhere in Oct. Well lets just see how things go. POS (pledge of silence) / Fight the Stigma (FTS) must happen...I will be EXtremely disappointed if this were to fail...

Later proceeded on to Orchard to go to ION...man that place is VERY nice!!!

After slacking so much, my sunday is dedicated to studying...but seems like it wasn't really productive...thoughts run wild cant kill em'...

I really wonder... ...can we get closer? can we ...etc... Whats with this yearning...that lasted for so long...so long...mths after mths...day after day.

I need to ask u if we can proceed.

Hoho, the runners relay is coming up later! I will update my results soon. Not sure if i'm the last runner or not...hopefully not first and my body is in good condition^^

Argh, Kind of did badly for my conclusion for COMT ahhh....i'm not very happy...Hope hope hope i will do as good as kah or amanda...not too badly please...X.x

Update soon.

Hohoho i scored 90% for my Bstats CCT. I was quite lucky i guess^^ Qn. 4 is weird i wonder how to solve it...KH, Vimala and me sat side by side and all 3 scored 90% lols. Nt sure bout' the rest though. I feel the urge to bond this class...but I need the help of others as well. >.<

Today, got to know more about Nazurah. She 'brought' me home and later met up for a jog^^ So I've managed to build rapport with her (mindworks lols)

So my decision to quit LSCT society made me happy hahahas=D though its sad that i cant spend many happy moments with these fun-loving people.

I should pick up more things from Sofian! Lols we are always praising each other. I really feel he is better. But but the correct way to think is : We are great in our own ways and we can learn from each other o.< Lets charge ahead!!! I'm looking foward to my holidays and the time i can spend with jiggy. I must learn to get closer...we've stagnated and i know i'm one-sided lols.

Certainly, I know i cant do it all over: livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart

SO, Before its over, I will give away all these words i saved in my heart.

Parents+2nd sis+bro went ECP to cycle and i stayed and home to Study lols. Got lots of revision to do since i'm a tortoise. While he hops, i take 1 heavy step at a time.

Well I've decided to QUIT LSCT SOCIETY. YES! Actually i knew this would happen even before i joined. lols. Thats the truth. And i wish u will decide to quit too. I still hoping to race tgt with u.
Life isn't a RACE(much less of a rat race which many are taking part in). But when you take part in an adventure race, it is a good analogy for life. It has its ups and downs, its about endurance and PERSERVERANCE and there are many surprises that you can encounter etc. Its a fun Challenge and winning isn't the main point but it is about winning at the same time. uh huh...
(Its not that i dislike the people there since they are the reason why i even joined, its just that...I will miss em' anws)

There are people who really knows how to live life to the max(TTM) like Amanda ahhaas always enjoying herself. While some coop up at one corner mugging all along thinking there will be a time when they are enjoying life etc. in the future, now must concentrate on studies....
Well i'm the intermediate though i must admit i am leaning towards the latter. I've always been wrong, cause i've always been planning and thinking of my future. Its not exactly wrong or bad just that if you keep searching and working towards them, you are not living in the present. uh huh...

I wonder who reads this blog lols Tag me ah. Anws if u are a stalker just identify urself as one LOls i'm ok with it

I have already decided though it wasnt part of my plan.

The purpose of life is not in the future. Can you refute this?

If u think ur future lies in the future, you will go on and on looking for it there and never find it. The future fades away in the same way the past fades out. U get older and older, and the future never comes, and u just peter out. It was never there, and u may feel vaguely cheated about the whole thing. U thought that there was something coming, that there was some great thing at the end of the line, the golden reward.

But u have been sitting in the middle of that golden reward all the time.

Hey, today was quite fun + boring as well. Started with some event regarding gangsterism organised by Ali and co. for their I&E. It was really small scale, which they were dissapointed. When we reach there was only 1 guy there...Lols then we were joking abt us 3 running about.
I partnered that guy for the race, he didn't want to run so we merely brisk walk...lols to my surprise we won. It was easy. The only place i learnt was that spiral staircase around canteen 3.
Then there was the movie "15" by royston tan...was quite bad in my opinion but nevertheless true. Brotherhood...
Once u are involved in such mess...ur life will inevitably be a downward spiral into eternal darkness unless an angel appeared which is a real rare case so be strong and walk with ur head held high.

Then we left, parted ways, and reached home. I slept despite having so much work to do lols.
Hmm...I must not waste chances..which are really few..i've come closer and closer to a decision now.
-------
Till i've tried my best. I hope i can move on like i always do in every other aspects.

Ta-da! My new skin in quite a short time=D

Tmr there is some day-camp by one of the Circle leaders. (dpa gl) i also plan to be a circle leader=)
Hehe it will be so fun^^ Why be in LSCT society just so i can be a GL? tsk tsk lols. Why i even joined it? Cause of friends and maybe to challenge myself. But its really a chore rather than a challenge. It ain't living to be there. "YES INSTRUCTOR!"
---lols thinking of NS....2 yrs of such disciplinary dog training is enough.

My father bought new mizuno badminton shoes...where is mine! lols. Aiyo that time when i was in Cathay orchard, World of Sports having 40% off for last day...wasted.

ComT for today was fun maybe I was a lil' derange. Actually i'm quite wierd for most ComT class LOLS...thats why its fun!

-Express your love to me. I'm not that typical guy.

I want to change this blogskin! Lols its too messy.

School is as usual really busy. Yesterday X-venture trg was really tiring, had to run over 10km. The last part was to run to rifle range and back to np. Part of the route was really dark and i was trying to stop myself from thinking of the horror stuff. I was alone, look ahead, i could barely make out the silhouette of my teammate and behind me is a void. Well it can be scary but it can be peaceful...depends on how u allow ur thoughts to run. Lose urself in nature and u find peace huh lols tried my best to do that. ( Rifle range is somewhere into bukit timah )
Reached home around 11pm X>X and the ride back was lonely.

Ahhh....i wanna scream out loud. Scream out to the horizon. I wanna fly over the moon.
Cant stand losing my temper esp. to the ppl around me...had been doing well till i guess today. Too tired Z.z

should stop allowing the wolf to strip me of my amour and reveal my vulnerable self.

Saturday
Went to ClimbAsia at CSC to meet Cheryl and some of her friends. I was wondering if there is training so i sms-ed her the night before and she said no but ask if i wanna climb so i said ok since i got badminton at there too.

The biggest difference climbing with her and my bro is that i will learn a lot from her since we are still noobs. I've learnt how to Lead-climb, learnt about the (3-point position), a lil' more about bouldering and route climbing. I did 2-top rope climb, 1-lead climb, some bouldering and some core exercises. We lead-climbed on the tallest wall and lead climbing was super scary since it was my first time doing it. Nearing the top, i was quite exhausted and needed to pull the rope up and hook it into the clip. Tried very hard, even had to use my mouth though i was rather reluctant to and had to change my position a lil' as i needed a more comfortable position cause i am losing whatever strength i have trying to grip onto whatever i was gripping on. I really wanted to give up but this means i will FREE-FALL quite a distance to the previos clipping and risk injuring myself...I almost fell while shifting my position cause my hands almost failed me. Scary 恐いね and the belayer scream a lil' which scared us all. Sry ah...lols now i wanna try belaying since its a lil' different.

Around 1+ i went to the badminton court to join my badminton clique. There is a new member today and i thought i could owned him but was proven wrong. Maybe its because every finger of mine was in pain and my footwork went haywire. I can see my problem: After i smash from a corner at the base, my legs are lazy to run foward...Must do it!

Next went to grandma hse, was reading "Still the mind" by Alan Watts. I subsequently put it down and fell asleep. I drifted into Lala land...and was like being in the book. I can't believe it...floating floating from page to page although i've not even read half of it...trying to find out the truth behind this existence of mine.

Now i have a report to finish and email to KH by morning light so i should stop procrastinating and work on it now....hahas

I've spent some time typing this out so Read it ah:

A father once said, " A person who thinks all the time have nothing to think about except thoughts, and lives in a world of illusions."

Stop thinking and start experiencing, we are getting back to sanity, and to reality.

If we talk all the time, we wont hear what anyone else has to say, and if we think all the time, we will never experience the nature of our organic existence.

I was taught to be unselfish and loving, and i used to think that i should grow up to serve other people. But after a while i found out that unless one has something to give people, there is nothing one can do to help them. Just because I thought I ought to help doesn't mean i have anything to give.
(How True)

A zen poem:
The wild Geese do not intend to cast their reflection.
The water has no mind to retain their image.
(解りますか？　Quite abstract and difficult to understand just by reading it lols)

WHO are U?

I finally figured out how to define myself and now i can proudly tell Mr. Quek i can ans. this question.

I am what you see and what i do.
I am my consciousness and a being as big as the universe.
I see myself as a man having a colossal affair with the moon, the stars and all the energy surrounding and in me.
I am an organic being with a lifeforce and with a purpose in this life.

This answers the question right? hahas hope it does. I dun think this is a right or wrong qn.

Three Wishes:

I am offering this words for your entertainment and to entertain myself. I am not trying to improve you and i really do not know how i would improve you. It would be imprudent of me to recommend any improvements, because one never knows how these things may turn out-and as they say be very careful of what you wish for, because you may get it.
(Now make ur wish.)

One of the problems when people ask for miracles is that they will never know what the miracles they ask for ultimately involves. That is why genies/magicians always grant 3 wishes, so that after the first two wish you can always use the third one to get back to where you begin.

(now i understand why 3 wishes are given)

How can u be certain with any great teacher/scripture that they know what they know? You may believe in a religion; that is a choice you've made. But how do you know, and why do you believe/

If you believe in something because the Bible says it is true, for instance, you do so because you believe that the Bible has the authority to tell you it is true. You may well say that your fathers and mothers and all sorts of reliable people believed it, and therefore you have accepted it on their authority. If you are curious, however, you will also ask, " how did you know it was true?" Did they, by their light and example, show that they were enormously improved because of their belief?

If we look at human history with a clear eye, we see that over an appallingly lond period of time people have not improved very much despite their religions and ideals. So when you set someone up as an authority, never forget that the belief you have in this authority is just your opinion.

If you believed in GOD and that GOD is good, or that GOD is GOD at all-- it is your opinion. And so GOD derives from you, and therefore this thought has some peculiar implications with regard to the government of the universe.

GOD does not have to be a monarch; there can also be an organic GOD. There are also personal and impersonal GODs, and there are gods that are neither personal nor impersonal. There are GoDS that exist and GODs that do not exist. But whatever you believe GOd is, It always goes back to you.

We come into this world with a brief span as a lil' flash of consciousness between two eternal darkness. Of course during our lives all sort of other things go on, but nevertheless the feeling that haunts almost everyone is that this "I" is an orphan, here on a visit, and we don't feel that we belong here.
(A thing of the past for me at least)

ok...largely taken from the book "still the mind"...seems to be reading such books of late...this is the first/second if u count the one with Einstein quotes...lols dun think i will be reading more of this but novels for the next.

Got to know about this great band : Monkey Majik. They have some great songs like ta da arigatou lols we were 'singing' this song in yesterday's jap class and it was Nick's bd as well. So sweet of ling yu and some of the others hahas.

Wanna share this lyrics:
Monkey Majik - スマイル (Smile)

You see the walls? Their breaking, changing.
But hell it's all ok.
The good days are passing, and you're laughing,
Smile as much as you can..
Look above you're trapped again, ya see the end,
But everything will be ok..
Ya come back to the bus stop
Knowing that you don't got to follow that storm no more.

I caught a bolt of lightning.
Put it in my pocket as a good luck charm.
And then I started thinking...
Maybe this piece of fire will protect me from harm.
Sentimental journeys, are the only things that turn me around.

C'mon and smile for me, I know you're waiting for that moment
to wash away your pain. You got to live it as much as you can.
Cherish what you have 'cause someday
you'll be gone and you might say...
Where have they gone. But you can fix it, just give it a try.

You get yourself right out of bed,
Clear your head, time for something new.
You start meeting new people,
And ya keep on moving ahead.
You look at all the good stuff,
Knowing that its gonna be tough,
But everything will be ok.
Keep going, never look back again,
Until the end, follow that storm beyond.

I caught a bolt of lightning.
Put it in my pocket as a good luck charm.
And then I started thinking...
Maybe this piece of fire will protect me from harm.
Sentimental journeys, are the only things that turn me around.

C'mon and smile for me, I know you're waiting for that moment
to wash away your pain. You got to live it as much as you can.
Cherish what you have 'cause someday
you'll be gone and you might say...

You gotta try to get out.
Make sure you promise.
What you have now,
I figure, one way or another,
What will count is what happens.
But you know what?
All you need to do is smile.
---------------------------------------------
Amanda, Kah Ho, Shuhaila, Bhavina and I. This is the people whom i hang out with^^ Great bunch of people. Super gossipy lols...

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for thatperson.. When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
to provide you with guidance and support, To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desirefulfilled, their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn hascome to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotionalfoundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all otherrelationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Morning went to Kah kah house to do CBIO/oChem proj. It seems like only the two of us are working on it...we are quite frustrated with such members...always need to think what we can give em' to do so they can at least contribute though they got so lil' committment...slowly i know i can come up with a solution on this. I roughly have a lil' idea after so many projects since young but nothing really concrete yet...hmm....

Next went over to Sk to meet Chen then travel down to plaza sing...but they change location lols so in the end only went to ps for toilet LOL lucky i got mrt concession but chen doesn't lols.
Reach Cine quite early so we walk abt till jia reach and poke me again...lol caught unaware all the time. Then the whole grp of youth from the church came...lols so many people! We had our lunch at billybombers, my first time there and the food is good hahas and the people i got to know are funny hahas.

Transformers 2 is Great!! Though i didn't watch Transformers 1, i can still understand and love the story lols. Full of action and romance hahas. Megan fox is who? lols i don't care...
The scence where the guy electrocuted himself after doing likewise to the security guard is the ultimate joke man....lols the whole theatre roared with laughter hahas
(i always thought transformers is lame so dun wan watch but now i think its nice lols)

Don't know whats the problem...i cant upload any photos tsk tsk

--malicious thoughts--clearing--gone--

A week since school started. I decided to come back to home for good cause no where else but here is where i belong. Everything is good for now other than the usual stress from studies and cca.

Fri
I finally understood how it must be like to be a student who is trying real hard to pass...Jia Yi set a test regarding HIV/AIDS that is quite tough...i'm the last to hand in my script...as always...Well it was difficult especially the long-ans qns. that whole section is worth 50 marks which is like 50% weightage! For a bio student i'm quite sad to say that i was trying so hard wanting to just pass cause the threat for failing is....Goodbye to the committee...wahhh i sat there for around 2hrs...totally cui...

Thats all for the first time i just want to pass a test but not score for it.

Today i finally bought my footwear from sanuik to go to school with rather than wearing my running shoes which i've done since sec 1 lols. well my sis&bro said it is ugly =( but who cares i like it can le and its not cheap so they suan more lols mom included! lols
Its unique though u cant see it lols.

Kah Ho and i shld come up with a strategy on how to deal with slackers/not committed team members in the project so that we will feel that it is fairer to us and that we are not the ones doing most of the work and trying to throw some stuff for them to contribute...we 2 make a great team !! Thats why you can see the fb pict of both of us---> to understand how pro our relationship are lols!

Leo...X-ventures...lsct society...
Too many CCAs? well i think all essential for my development hahas but yup i will cut down slowly so no worries yar

Adios. too tired to blog =P